Madelaine Bernfeld
On a Sunday afternoon, Madelaine Bernfeld did something seemingly ordinary: she walked into her daughter's apartment to spend time with her daughter and grandkids. These days, enjoying her time as a grandmother is a standard reality. However, there was a time when Madelaine spent her afternoons enjoying the childlike joy of ice skating and pondering her role in her family's history. This particular Sunday afternoon was the day she sat down with me to tell that story.
While reminiscing on her childhood, Madelaine described the evolution of her relationship with ice skating. When her mom initially brought her to Central Park, she found it exhausting and unnecessary in the frigid cold weather. While she wasn't happy about it, Madelaine continued her ice skating lessons, six to seven hours every weekend; she says, "I grew to like it even though it's freezing over there." As time passed, Madelaine began viewing skating as an escape, growing to appreciate it, just as her mom, Hilda, had in Europe, before World War II.
As Madelaine's story unfolded, it became clear that something as seemingly trivial as ice skating told a lot about her family story: her mother was an ice skater in Europe before the war, before her reality was tragically desecrated by the Holocaust. By sharing this passion with her children, Madelaine's mother was able to keep the memory of her prewar life and family alive. As we continued speaking, it became clear that, like ice skating, many parts of Madelaine's childhood were quietly influenced by her family's history.
Early Life
Born and raised in Brooklyn, Madelaine's roots were deeply intertwined with her Jewish heritage. She grew up in a traditional Jewish home, observing many traditions and laws of Judaism. Madelaine and her younger brother Leo lived in a kosher household, a Jewish law that her family continued to pass through the generations. Madelaine strengthened her faith through regular synagogue attendance, allowing her and her family to create meaningful connections with families who shared similar histories. There, Madelaine went to Hebrew school and realized the importance of preserving her Jewish identity for generations to come.
Madelaine's parents were Holocaust survivors, and though they spoke about it very little, the familial trauma formed a critical building block in her identity. Madelaine often recounted the unsettling routine of returning from school to find her mother with red, tear-stained eyes, or awakening in the dead of night to the echoes of her mother's piercing screams, a manifestation of her relentless nightmares. These harrowing experiences underscored the stark contrast between her mother's behavior and the behavior she observed among her friends' mothers. Madelaine learned to bear the weight of not only her pain but also the profound anguish of her mother, who had endured the loss of her loved ones to the horrors of the Holocaust.
Madelaine's Threads of Wisdom
In asking Madelaine to discuss her greatest advice and pieces of wisdom, she emphasized the importance of family and unity that she learned throughout her adolescence. Madelaine explained, "Keep your connection with your siblings and your parents because no one will be more true to you than your siblings, a brother or sister, or your parents, even though you don't like what they're saying and you don't want to hear it." Additionally, she emphasized the meaning of passing on tradition: it strengthens unity and preserves culture, creating a sense of continuity with the past and ensuring its lessons are remembered and carried on. This philosophy underpinned Madelaine's approach to raising her children. She prioritized passing on Jewish customs and traditions, deepening the connection to Jewish history and heritage.
Reflections
Hearing my grandmother's story and her shared wisdom made me think about many parts of my reality. It gave me a framework to view my Jewish identity, not just as a modern-day Jew, but as part of a deep history and heritage. It reframed how I thought about my family, helping me recognize how unique the bonds were. And, perhaps most tangibly, I recognized how important it is to develop this sense of continuity with the past. I realize I have learned so many stories of Holocaust Survivors, but the children of Holocaust Survivor’s stories remain unknown. My grandmother's wisdom has inspired me to continue to capture stories from others, starting with our first capsule: Witnesses Who Were Not There, which will tell the stories of children of Holocaust Survivors. Through Threads of Wisdom, we will provide the opportunity to others like my grandma to share their stories.
My Great-Grandma Hilda holding her daughter, Madelaine, and son, Leo, after World War II.
My Great-Grandma Hilda at a Zionist Youth Movement prior to World War II.
Madelaine Bernfeld with her granddaughters (Serena and Micah) at Serena’s Bat-Mitzvah, passing on Jewish tradition.
